Taoism: sh*t happens.
Confucianism: Confucius says, “sh*t happens.”
Buddhism: If sh*t happens, it isn’t really sh*t.
Zen: sh*t is, and is not,; what is the sound of sh*t happening?
Hinduism: This sh*t happened before.
Mormon: This sh*t is going to happen again.
Islam: If sh*t happens, it is the will of Allah.
Calvinism: sh*t happens because you don’t work hard enough.
Catholicism: sh*t happens because you are bad; if sh*t happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let this sh*t happen to someone else.
Judaism: Why does this sh*t always happen to us?
Stoicism: This sh*t is good for me.
Christian Science: sh*t is only in your imagination.
Seventh Day Adventist: No sh*t on Saturdays.
Hedonism: There isn’t anything like a good sh*t happening.
Moonies: Only happy sh*t happens.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this sh*t.
Davidians: Let’s shoot and burn our own sh*t.
Church of Scientology: Of course, God created this sh*t; if sh*t
happens, see Dianetics p.147.
Shinto: Chop the sh*t.
Eastern Russian Orthodox: Holy sh*t (no more communism!)
Agnostic: Not sure about sh*t.
Shaolinism: Destroy bad sh*ts with Kung Fu.
Existentialism: What is sh*t, anyway? sh*t does not happen, sh*t is.
Atheism: What sh*t?
Presbyterian: This sh*t was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It’s not so bad if sh*t happens, as long as you serve
the right wine with it.
Methodist: It’s not so bad if sh*t happens, as long as you serve grape
juice with it.
Congregationalist and Unitarian: sh*t that happens to one person is
just as good sh*t as sh*t that happens to all other.
Lutheran: If sh*t happens, don’t talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If sh*t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are
Nihilism: No sh*t.
Creationism: God made all sh*t.
Secular Humanism: sh*t evolves.
Traditional Christian: When sh*t happens, don’t call a doctor. Pray.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this sh*t
Utopianism: This sh*t does not stink.
Darwinism: This sh*t was once food.
Capitalism: that’s my sh*t mmunism: It’s everybody’s sh*t.
Feminism: Men are sh*t.
Chauvinism: We may be sh*t, but you can’t live without us.
Commercialism: Let’s package this sh*t.
Impressionism: From a distance, this sh*t looks like a garden.
Satanism: SNEPPAH THIS.
Practical: Deal with sh*t one day at a time
p.s. Got this from my Dosen Ngehe! 😀